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Falling by Hikatsuke Falling by Hikatsuke
This is my part of the art trade I did with Elythe. She asked me to draw her three C.I.S. OC ladies Iris, Céline and Shizuna together. Well, this is result... and I´m very proud of it :)
Constructive critique and comments are very appreciated! :)

Iris, Shizuna and Céline all belong to Elythe 
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meltyfase Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Hey, I'm from ProjectComment and my tag word was "Bright"

I picked this one because of the pastel colors but mostly because it was one of the more recent deviations you have.

I love the colors you used!! None of them seem too out of place.I also the blue haired girl's shine hair.

I wish the background was consistently shaded. I mean, like the differing directions of the strokes is quite visible, leading to to looks very messy and unprofessional. Perhaps just a 1 or 2 more layers of the blue would have masked this, but shading in one direction or circular motions is preferable. And there's always an exception to the rules but here it looks accidental.  

I'm curious as to why you left the area around the figures uncolored. It's not necessarily bad: It just seems like a strange choice.

The perspective in this is rather unclear. I'm assuming we're looking up at the blue haired character from below her , and the sky is above them. I appreciate how figures in the distance get smaller.

Real clouds are much less predictable in form than these. Maybe something more wispy but you'd have to darken the sky a bit.
(wispy loud)…

I hath completed the commenting cycle
Hikatsuke Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey and thanks alot for your comment! :) I´m very happy you like my choice of colours and thanks for the helpful tips :)
fireytika Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Hellooo~ I'm from :iconprojectcomment: comment tag game! 
My word is "sky"
I'm so sorry for made you waiting soooo long. I'm able to drop the comment just now, i went to another town.
Okayy. first of all, i like the idea of how the purple haired girl fall, and her angelic friend tries to catch her. I love how you add texture on the blue haired girl,s outfit. Those crosshatch, made from paint isn't it? The 3d effect that caused by the paint made her looks closer to the viewer and giving her greater impact. Her wing is beautiful and i love the design! The wing and the blue hair are my favorite part from this drawing! I love her blue hair, you shaded very well! Seeing from, your previous drawings I think you have improved in your hair shading skill~
The girl is very expressive! And suits perfectly with this situation~
You did a nice job on foreshortening, however you can still push it again with a lot of practice ^^
Now for the critique part, there are several things that you can improve. To make this drawing more impactful, how about drawing the clouds circling the purple haired girl? It will give space and dimension effect. This is example from my gallery, to make the cloud ''circle' around the focus object :
Aluca Halloween by fireytika
Please take a closer look on how the clouds circling the moon.
Also, i think i must agree with the previous commenter about the cloud's texture. In my opinion, i think the clouds should be colored with pencil like the rest of the drawing. Because the soft texture of clouds, and thin clouds on the far away side can produce with pencil. Aaaaand don't forget to make the clouds fading away, especially on the far away side from viewer's eye.
I think that's all from me. Overall, you did a great job in this! Keep it up and happy improving! ^^
Hikatsuke Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hello and thank you so much for your comment! It not only makes me happy to hear there are a lot of things about this artwork you like but also I´m thankful for your suggestions. Especially the one about the clouds will be very helpful to me in future drawings. So thank you :)
fireytika Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! Glad it was helpful ^^
Yuett Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey! I'm here from ProjectComment's ICT and  my tag word is "sky" so I think you can guess why I chose this drawing. 

You have reasons to be proud of the result. This is a very interesting drawing, with an interesting composition, amazing colours and it makes me wonder what is happening between this three characters. You've made a picture that catches your eye easily and it opens questions to those who don't know the characters (or at least to me). The expression in the purple haired girl is well done, and so is the different sizes of the three girls. The clothes (I don't know if you made them up or if that came with the OCs) are original and well coloured. I could go on and on with nice things about this drawing but if I don't suggest you anything to improve this wouldn't be a constructive comment, so...

My first suggestion is about the clouds. Since all the drawing has been painted and drawn in the same style, suddenly looking at clouds with a different texture and a rouch shadowing makes a wierd effect. Although the clouds aren't bad on theyr own, I feel they don't really fit with the overall picture. I leave here a Cloud Tutorial Reference that explains how a cloud should be coloured and lighted. And that leads me to a second suggestion: lighting. Although the colouring is really amazing, I feel it could be less flat if you worked more in light-shadow contrast. It's like there's no light source and all the surfaces are lightened uniformly, but when you try to work with the object's volume it's nice to play with lights and really dark shadows, that add depht to the image.I haven't found any tutorial for a whole picture lighting but I think this Global Lighting Tutorial is awesome and might help you.

Then just a minor suggestion which is probably just a matter of personal taste but I prefer when the blue of the sky gets to the character, without leaving that white aura surrounding the figures. But overall this is an amazing picture, as I've said before, and the suggestions are just for you to work on some things I think might help you improving even more in your doubtless drawing skills. Keep working hard!

TAG! now it's your turn to go into MiMikuChair's gallery and comment on something with the tag word "nature". Have fun!
Hikatsuke Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey and thank very much for this constructive comment! I´m so happy about all the compliments you made about my drawing and thank you also for the suggestions, especially the one for the clouds. They are helpful :)
Yuett Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad I helped!
Elythe Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Ich finde nun endlich die Zeit, einen angemessen langen Kommentar zu diesem unheimlich schönen Bild zu schreiben :heart:
Erstmal bin ich unheimlich glücklich, dass du tatsächlich alle drei Mädels auf das Bild gebracht hast. Und das, indem du nicht nur die drei irgendwie beieinander positioniert hast. Du hast dir Gedanken um eine gute Bildkomposition gemacht. Um ein Motiv mit Handlung, Aussage, Dynamik und allem, was dazu gehört.
Ich kann mir vorstellen, dass es eine Weile gedauert hat. Nicht nur, bis die zündende Idee kam, sondern auch bis die Umsetzung geklappt hat.  Obwohl man keines der Gesichter der drei im Close-Up hat, ist eine Menge Gefühl dabei. Die Überraschung begleitet von Unsicherheit und Angst im Gesicht der stürzenden Céline ist es, die die Stimmung super einfängt - denn dass Shizuna diesen Blick irgendwie erwiedern muss; wahrscheinlich mit einer Mischung aus Entschlossenheit und Angst, nicht schnell genug zu sein - erklärt sich ja von selbst. Und Iris, die ihr Gesicht mit den nach oben ausgestreckten Armen verdeckt wird wahrscheinlich nicht weniger ängstlich und unsicher ein, als Céline.
Auch wenn die Farbgebung des Himmels in Kombination mit Shizunas hellen Farben das Bild optimistisch wirken lässt, spüre ich die Eile und die Wichtigkeit der schnellen Handlung förmlich. Ich, die sich immer zu sehr auf statische Posen verlässt, bin umso beeindruckter davon, wie viel hier passiert.
Außerdem finde ich die perspektivische Verkürzung super gelungen: Célines Hände und Unterschenkel sind größer, da sie weiter oben sind, der Rest des Körpers kleiner, und Iris, die anscheinend zuerst gefallen ist, ist entsprechend schon weiter unten und dementsprechend noch kleiner.

Besonders beeindruckt hat mich, als ich im Original gesehen habe, wie vielfältig du hier gearbeitet hast. Die Wolken und der Netzteil von Shizunas Outfit stechen durch das Material heraus und lassen das Motiv noch plastischer wirken. Auch hier auf dem Scan wirkt beides auffällig anders, aber in echt hat das Ganze noch einen größeren Pluspunkt^^
Ich bin glücklich darüber, dass du eine so dynamische Handlung gezeichnet und sogar Shizunas Flügel eingebracht hast.
Danke für dieses großartige Art-Trade-Bild! Ich werde mein Bestes geben, um für dich ein Bild zu zeichnen, mit dem du ähnlich glücklich bist, wie ich mit diesem :heart:
Hikatsuke Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Und ich jetzt endlich die Zeit darauf auch angemessen zu antworten - vielen lieben herzlichen Dank für diesen wundervollen Kommentar! :heart: :hug: Ich freue mich riesig, dass dir das Bild so gut gefällt und ich dir damit eine solche Freude bereiten konnte. Mir selbst hat es Spaß gemacht es  zu zeichnen und es war zugleich auch eine Herausforderung. Der ich mich ohne diesen Art Trade so in dieser Form sicher nicht gestellt hätte. Deshalb auch vielen Dank dafür, dass du mir dazu die Gelegenheit gegeben hast. Am liebsten hätte ich auch Iris Gesicht noch dargestellt, aber da wurde es dann so klein, dass selbst das andeuten nicht mehr schön ausgesehen hat und so habe ich mich dazu entschieden, ihren Gesichtsausdruck nicht darzustellen. Man kann ihn sich ja erschließen, wie du das bereits so treffend getan hast :)

Das vielfältige Arbeiten hat mir mit am meisten Spaß gemacht und ich denke, dass ich nun öfter vielfältig arbeiten möchte :) Auf deinen Part freue ich mich jetzt schon :)
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Submitted on
August 12, 2016
Image Size
1.8 MB


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